


and you're the only one who knows

by wtfoctagon



Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: A Kimberly Hart newly freed from compulsory heterosexuality, Basically 4k words of Kim pining after Trini, F/F, Trini Gomez?? Trini Cortez?? when will we get an official last name, alternatively titled:, discovers that she is an insanely protective hot mess, give me more of these five trainwrecks i love them so much, inspired by the character bio for 2017 Trini in Power Rangers: Legacy Wars honestly, title from And So It Goes by Billy Joel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 13:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11162478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfoctagon/pseuds/wtfoctagon
Summary: Kim’s not sure about a lot of things with Trini, honestly. She’s a five-foot-one mystery wrapped in a thick dose of sarcasm and a concrete bunker wall of cautiousness— one of the only things Kim’s certain of is the fathomless depth she can see underneath the tough veneer. Eyes are the window to the soul, they say, and when Kim looks into Trini’s dark rosewood eyes she’s sure there are galaxies swirling in there.//A character study of Trini through the eyes of a lovestruck Kimberly Hart





	and you're the only one who knows

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everybody! this is my first trimberly fic and I'd like to formally announce that I've dived headfirst into the fandom trashbin. I just love talking about quiet and introspective Trini so much- her character is such an interesting iteration of the lone wolf archetype played by an actress who has the most angelic baby cheeks in the universe?? anyway that one juxtaposition spawned all of this. I hope you enjoy!

There’s a moment in Billy’s van before the train hits that really sums up how Kim feels about Trini. It’s kind of a wonder she didn’t see this whole ordeal coming.

She remembers it quite vividly for someone who went into a magical teleportation coma immediately afterwards— the train was coming, and she knew they weren’t going to make it only about two seconds before impact. Driven by some inexplicable urge, Kim used those two seconds to grab the girl next to her, fold herself over the girl’s smaller frame, tuck the girl’s head into the crook of her neck, and turn away from the train as if her equally human and mortal body could protect this girl.

Kim remembers that split second before the crash. One hand on the back of Trini’s beanie, the other wrapped around her waist, Trini’s own hands fisting in the back of her jacket, holding on just as tightly—

Trini probably doesn’t remember. Kim thinks so, anyway; she’s not entirely sure if the girl jumping a gorge to avoid her the day after is a sign that she definitely  _ does _ or definitely  _ doesn’t _ remember what would’ve been a pre-death last embrace if not for the power coins.

Kim’s not sure about a lot of things with Trini, honestly. She’s a five-foot-one mystery wrapped in a thick dose of sarcasm and a concrete bunker wall of cautiousness— one of the only things Kim’s certain of is the fathomless depth she can see underneath the tough veneer. Eyes are the window to the soul, they say, and when Kim looks into Trini’s dark rosewood eyes she’s sure there are galaxies swirling in there.

She’s also sure that the other rangers are the only people Trini’s let in so close in recent history. It was a slow transition, but over the course of training, Trini went from being the girl who rarely spoke and didn’t so much smile as smirk derisively to the girl who frequently interjected with her jibes and laughed freely.

(And god, how Kim loves her laugh. Trini may be a master of smoldering smirks and sardonic snorts, but her free, unrestrained laughter is pure, beautiful— cherubic, even. Trini, in her most candid moments, is soft and vibrant and stunning— she has this grin that pushes on her baby cheeks with uninhibited joy and reminds Kim that  _ yes, you, Kimberly Hart, are looking at an angel. _ )

And now, Trini’s the girl who unabashedly gives out and receives hugs, laughs almost as much as she throws sharp remarks, and freely shows her affection by way of half-hearted punches and more rarely, holding hands. She’s the one who shares her insights without fear and treats all four of them like family and is still the one that everyone knows the least about.

It’s not like she’s… actively holding back an essential part of herself or anything, no. Whether it’s through the morphing grid or sheer affection, all five of them know each other inside and out— Kim’s sure that she’s seen and touched all of their souls and Trini is no exception.

It’s just that, four months after the Rita incident, none of them have been to her house. Trini’s never invited them over on account of her mother being “crazy,” and no one pushed because they all know how hard her home life can get.

(It’s not rare for them to feel an angry tug at their chests late in the evening and venture out to find Trini at the campfire. She offers no excuse more elaborate than “got yelled at again” or variations thereof. They offer unconditional support with no questions asked.)

Everyone else may as well have adopted themselves into each others’ family by proxy. Kim’s parents have gotten so used to coming home to a gaggle of teenagers arguing over snacks in their kitchen that they’ve started stocking up triple on the pantry. Jason’s father is begrudgingly happy that they spend their time with Jason, piled in the garage, bantering as they fix the truck with Pearl perched on Kim’s shoulders.

(Her favourite ranger is Pink. Kim gloats silently while Jason mutters under his breath about sibling betrayal.)

Billy’s mother is always thrilled to have them over, always checking in on them with food when they hang out in the basement. (A sad part of Kim wonders if it’s because Billy stopped making friends after his father passed.)

Zack’s mother, in her accented but eloquent and elegant english, tells them that they bring a lovely energy that makes her feel so lively.

(Zack cried quietly the first time they stayed over, elbows bumping in the cramped trailer but no less happy for the fact. He’s never seen his mother so healthy and happy since she got sick, he told them. 

Jason and Kim take turns driving her to her hospital appointments. Billy wires up an entire wireless home entertainment system for her, and Trini— in the quieter moments, when the boys are passed out on the couch after loud rounds of mario kart, Kim finds Trini sitting across from Mrs. Teng and holding her own against the seasoned chess player. Trini moves the pieces so delicately and speaks with such soft, arduous care that Kim wonders if that’s the reason Trini wraps herself with wary indifference: 

her heart loves and cares with such zeal and abandon that it  _ bleeds _ .)

So, none of them have even met Trini’s family so far. Whenever they’ve accidentally encountered them in town, Trini would give them a panicked look and they would know to look away, pretending that Trini’s just a classmate they don’t really know.

(Just a classmate. Kim blanches at the thought. In another parallel universe, where they never found the power coins, Kim has never loved or been loved by any of them. She is still the confused and angry and vengeful and clueless girl who wouldn’t even spare a second glance at the former quarterback or the autistic kid or the invisible new girl or the boy who just literally never shows up to class.

She clutches her power coin so hard that her palm bruises whenever she thinks of this.)

Trini’s never really explained this aversion. Something about her mother getting on her case about them and how it’s a hassle— they know not to push when Trini refuses to make eye contact and starts worrying her cuticles. 

Kim’s not hurt or offended or anything. If she never meets Trini’s family, ever, she won’t mind as long as that’s what Trini wants. It’s just that, she’s worried, is all. It’s like Trini’s trying to keep her family self and her ranger self completely separate and that’s  _ fine _ but Kim knows that trying to split yourself into two never works out in the long run. It only makes you lonelier and angrier and Kim’s just so worried— she worries and worries about Trini so much that she’s starting to think it’s turning into a problem.

For example. A few weeks ago, during the no-armor part of their drills, Kim launched herself clean across the pit to  _ demolish  _ the two putties that were about to sneak up on Trini. Everyone stopped and just stared for a moment, even Alpha-5, because none of them had seen her move  _ that _ fast while unmorphed— and yeah, okay, her thighs were kind of killing her after that. But nothing made it more worth it than the awed, flushed look on Trini’s face as she stared up at her and Kim felt proud, accomplished,  _ invincible _ , thrilled by her ability to keep Trini safe and—

And yeah, it’s definitely a problem. Her protectiveness over Trini is getting ridiculous and Kim… Kim doesn’t know what to  _ do. _ She’s never felt this way about anyone— it was always the other way around. It was always her trying to enjoy a boy’s protectiveness like other girls did. She never understood  _ why _ her friends swooned over taller guys who wrapped their arms around them. It was  _ nice _ , she supposed. Nice enough.

But being on the other end? It’s like she’s finally seeing the light in the world when she slings her arm over Trini’s shoulders, or when she carries a sleepy Trini to the guest room, or god, even when they’re just  _ hugging _ — there’s just something about the way that Trini folds into her, the way her small frame fits into Kim’s like a puzzle piece, that makes Kim so hopelessly happy.

She doesn’t know what really set off this side of her. She only knows that it started the moment they met— she took one look at the nonchalant girl with the hawk-like gaze that flickered with panic and vulnerability when the rocks crumbled— one look and it was like magnetism. She wanted to be close to this girl, hear more of her sarcastic quips, figure out what made her pretty eyes so wary—

So much that she ran after her instead of the boys that she  _ knew _ had a car. It wasn’t her smartest decision. But she just… second only to her own need to get the hell out of there, she absolutely needed to make sure this girl got out safely  _ with _ her.

To this day, whenever something explodes or comes after them or generally just goes wrong, her eyes and thoughts go to Trini first. So really, she shouldn’t be surprised that she’s developed feelings for Trini.

The revelation was so sudden and intense, as if was growing underneath the mundanity of teenage life and she just yanked the covers back.

During a sleepover at Kim’s house a few weeks ago, there was a moment where it was just the two of them. Her parents had left for the weekend and the boys had gone to bed, and so the two of them were lounging in the sitting room on opposing armchairs, throwing popcorn at each other across the room to catch in their mouths. Kim overshot, her popcorn sailing right past Trini’s face and landing under the piano bench.

Trini grumbled while she giggled.

“Can you pick that up before the cat eats it?”

Trini raised a brow at her.

“ _ You _ go pick it up. You’re the one who missed.”

“ _ Please _ ?” Kim pouted. “You’re closer and I don’t wanna get up.”

And, as always, Trini rolled her eyes but acquiesced. She got up, mumbling a quiet ‘the things I do for you…’ under her breath that left a warm flutter in Kim’s chest and a grin on her face. 

She watched Trini crouch and pick the kernel off the carpet, but instead of turning and launching it straight at Kim like she expected, Trini ran a hand over the smooth lid of the piano. Kim got up as Trini examined the dust that piled around her fingers.

“My mom used to play,” she said as she stood just behind Trini, resting her chin on her shoulder. She didn’t know why she was speaking so softly. “But nowadays she’s too busy, so it doesn’t get much use anymore.”

“That’s a shame,” Trini murmured. Kim peered down at the piano, wrapping her arms around Trini’s waist.

“Do you play?” she hummed.

Trini shrugged.

“That’s not a no,” Kim said playfully, pushing up against Trini’s back to reach and open the lid from around Trini’s sides. “Play me something,” she insisted. She pulled back, to grabbing Trini’s shoulders to try to shuffle her sideways and down onto the bench.

“Alright, alright,” Trini grumbled, sitting down. “You’re so pushy,  _ jesus _ .”

Kim just sat next to her, giving her just enough elbow room as she turned the piano on and lowered the volume to audible but not enough to wake the boys.

Trini put her fingertips to the keys, took a deep breath, and shot Kim a hesitant look.

“I haven’t played in a really long time,” she said. “Just— don’t laugh if I fuck up, okay?”

And there it was, that quivering vulnerability again, only visible in the protective shroud of quietness past midnight, and Kim wanted to cradle it to her chest and cover it in affection so badly.

“Cross my heart,” she promised, trying to a reassuring smile. 

Trini gnawed on her lower lip a little worriedly before turning back to the piano and taking yet another deep breath. Her start was a little shaky, wrong keys pressed a moment before she corrected herself, halting entirely at some points before moving on at a stuttering pace. It smoothed out eventually, as if her hands were re-learning an old dance— and Kim finally recognized the melody.

“Are you playing Billy Joel?” she asked incredulously. Trini shrugged.

“My…” she paused. “My mom loves him. I learnt this song for her years ago.”

And that was such a heavy statement that Kim quieted immediately. She weighed the confession as reverently as it deserved, because to be shown such a painful part of Trini was a privilege. She couldn’t bring herself to ask if Trini already took lessons or if she’d brute-force taught herself through sheer cleverness and determination.

(because when Trini loves, she loves so  _ fiercely. _ )

The moment that really sealed Kim’s fate was when Trini started singing the first verse, ever-so-softly; Kim barely had time to process that she wasn’t just playing a piano arrangement of the song before she just— froze. Like something fundamental was shifting within her. 

She felt her entire world rearranging itself to the cadences of Trini’s voice. 

“ _ In every heart, there is a room…” _

The melody followed a mellow rhythm with languid pauses that Kim felt her her skip beats to match. In that moment, everything narrowed down to Trini, sitting there, the panes of her face illuminated by the small light, her lashes fluttering as her eyes roamed the keys—

_ “My silence is my self-defense…” _

A thought rose to Kim’s mind, unbidden, so sudden and sharp that it could have felt like someone else’s thought if not for the fact that Kim felt it rise from her heart with absolute certainty:

_ I’m in love with this girl. _

_ “And so it goes, and so it goes; and so will you soon, I suppose…” _

She gaped as Trini sang softly, unwittingly plucking at Kim’s heartstrings, unknowingly pulling at the rhythm of her breaths.

_ “So I would choose to be with you, _

_ That’s if the choice were mine to make. _

_ But you can make decisions too, _

_ And you can have this heart to break.” _

And Trini has Kim’s heart to break, completely and utterly. 

It’s been a little over three weeks since she sat on the bench and smiled like she didn’t have an earth-shattering revelation, and it’s only gotten worse. Her heart flutters ten times more when she catches Trini’s eye in class and gets a small smile, and training has been… Interesting.

(If she could focus on not getting pummeled instead of the way Trini looks in shorts, that would be  _ great _ .)

She’s trying to wrangle it under her control, in her defense. She doesn’t just insert herself into Trini’s personal space anymore, none of that constant casual touching thing she did. (which, she now realizes is from her incessant need to be near Trini.) She’s getting better at not freezing up when Trini laughs. She knows now that she needs to evacuate the premises immediately once Trini starts  _ dancing _ .

(She learned that the hard way during their last ranger party.)

Kim’s got it handled. Mostly. She has to, because, she can’t really imagine that angry, spiteful girls could be Trini’s type. It’s never going to get anywhere because, even if Trini  _ did _ somehow like her to some romantic degree, she deserves better. Trini deserves a girl who can help her through all the things she’s going through; and as badly as Kim wants to be that girl, she knows she isn’t.

(And Kim, well— she has a tendency to ruin things when feelings get involved. If she ruins herself and takes Trini with her, where does that leave the five of them?)

She tries not to admit she’s kind of fucked. Because, god, Trini is… Trini is enigmatic and perceptive and intelligent and funny and honest and compassionate and  _ beautiful— _

(Like, fuck. Her face is just mathematically perfect. It’s unfair.)

How the hell do you fall out of love with a girl like that?

-

The answer is that you don’t, apparently.

When she climbs up to their usual campfire spot in the middle of the night because she can’t sleep, Trini is there— Trini is there and she looks so small, curled into Zack’s oversized lawn chair, a bottle cradled to her chest.

And all that protectiveness and love Kim’s been trying to shove underneath the surface just bursts through and floods her chest.

“It’s a bit cold to be out here without a fire,” she tries to remark lightly as she trudges up to Trini. She gets a piercing glare as she stops in front of the chair.

“So you’re talking to me now?” Trini snaps before she takes another swig from her flask. From up close, Kim can see the way Trini’s eyes are a little focused and her movements a little more limp than usual.

“Are you drunk?”

“No, I’m having apple juice at two in the morning,” Trini deadpans.

“No, seriously, what’s in that?”

“ _ Fuck off _ ,” Trini snarls when Kim reaches for the flask. She looks like a spooked and angry kitten, with her knees drawn up to her chest and body hunched over, pressed against the back of the chair.

“Okay,” Kim breathes, backing off with her hands held up placatingly. “I’m sorry. I was just worried about you.”

“Well, you don’t get to avoid me for a week and then pretend to care about me,” Trini bites back. She curls in on herself even more with a grimace.

(and with her beanie pulled nearly over her eyes and her jacket collar popped up to cover her neck, she looks so small and Kim wants to wrap her up into her arms.)

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” she says softly. Trini scoffs.

“Oh, so you just bolted out of every room I was in by accident?” she snaps. “Fuck you, Kim.”

The slight quiver and crack in her voice lances straight through Kim’s sternum. So she had it handled a lot less than she thought. Great.

“Okay,” Kim says as she slowly kneels on the ground in front of Trini’s feet so that she’s looking up at her instead of down. “I’m sorry.” She puts a hesitant hand on the edge of the chair. “I didn’t mean— I wasn’t trying to avoid you. I just had a lot going on and I wasn’t thinking right. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Trini glares down at her, bottom lip trembling like she’s struggling with something until she sniffles, looking away. She blinks up at the sky before taking a deep breath. Hope warms in Kim’s chest as Trini slowly uncurls to sit cross-legged on the chair, her free hand resting palm-up on her calf. Her fingers twitch towards Kim a little hesitantly, and Kim slowly flts their hands together.

“I’m sorry too,” Trini says hoarsely, squeezing Kim’s hand. “For being bitchy.”

Kim gives her a chagrined smile. “I think I deserved a few mean comments.”

Trini shakes her head as she runs her thumb over Kim’s knuckles. “You didn’t. I’m just… I’m mad at my mom and taking it out on you. I’m sorry.”

Kim frowns, letting her other hand rest on Trini’s calf.

“Did something happen?”

Trini’s quiet for a moment. Kim’s contemplating just letting it go and trying to lighten the mood when she finally speaks up again.

“She was ragging on me about my clothes again,” she snorts, taking another swig. “ _ Why do you have to dress like such a boy? _ ” she imitates in a shrill voice. “ _ You’re only going to be young one, mija, if you don’t wear all the pretty things now you’ll regret it later… _ Ha.” She laughs angrily. “Same speech I got for my quinces. Guess who ended up regretting the whole thing because I didn’t get to pick my own clothes?” She raises her voice mockingly.

Kim squeezes her reassuringly, but Trini’s not looking at her— she’s a thousand miles away, choking up on her angry tears.

“And the worst part is that I know why she’s like that,” Trini coughs out. “I know she’s just looking out for me because she didn’t get to be young. She’s the oldest of six, did you know that?” she scoffs. “She was always so busy taking care of them that she never got to do what she wanted. She didn’t get to hang out with friends, or buy the clothes she wanted, or go to the school she wanted. And before she knew it, here she was, saddled with three kids and basically nothing that she gets to do for herself,  _ still! _ ” 

That last part comes out in a broken, frustrated shout, and Kim takes her flask to screw it shut with one hand before putting it to the side. Trini wipes at her eyes with her newly freed hand, sniffling harshly. 

“I know she doesn’t want me to end up unhappy like her. She hires tutors and makes sure I’m doing well in school and buys me anything that I want and she  _ loves _ me,” Trini croaks, and her tears are falling a little harder now. “And I know trying to live vicariously through me will make her happy but I don’t— I can’t do it. I don’t know how to be the daughter she wants. I don’t know how to stop being such a  _ fuckup. _ ”

Kim surges up onto her knees, cupping Trini’s cheeks to wipe away the tears and cradle her close.

“You’re  _ perfect _ the way you are, Trini,” she whispers fiercely, coaxing Trini to look at her. “I wish you could see yourself like I do. Because—  _ god _ , Trini, you’re perfect. You are  _ so _ caring and good and  _ funny _ and you’re so—” Kim bites her lip and shakes her head slightly, at a loss for words to describe the adoration welling up in her chest. “You’re so  _ smart _ , you know that? I’ve never met anyone like you.”

Trini sniffles and tries to shake her head but Kim holds her steady and stares into her eyes with as much devotion as she can convey. 

“You. are.  _ amazing _ ,” Kim breathes. “And anyone should be grateful to have you in their lives.” She smooths her thumb over Trini’s cheekbone. “I know I am.”

Trini closes her eyes at that, face contorting into a barely contained sob as her tears spill over.

“I love her,” she chokes out, ” _ so _ much. I want her to be happy. I just want her to have the happy, normal life she wants with the happy,  _ normal _ daughter she always wanted but I can’t  _ be _ that kid,” she whimpers. “I wish they had someone else. I wish I wasn’t me. I wish I’d never been born.”

“Please don’t,” Kim begs, touching her forehead to Trini’s. “Life wouldn’t be right without you. None of us would be the same without you— I wouldn’t.”

And it’s true. Because Trini is honest and  _ brave _ , in ways that Kim has never been able to be on her own; the way that Trini faces the truth without reserve is what inspires all of them to be better. To be honest.

Trini’s crying freely now, hands clasped over Kim’s, shaking and trembling and her stuttering breaths sound as brittle as Kim’s heart feels.

“Can you—” Trini hiccups. “Can you take me home?”

Kim nods. “Of course.”

She kisses the top of Trini’s head before she rises to her feet, taking her jacket off to wrap around Trini’s shivering frame. Her phone buzzes in per pocket and— fuck, she has a bajillion missed calls and texts.

Trini peeks up at her as she types out a response.

“Is everything okay?”

(The way she asks, a bit small but caring nonetheless— it’s fucking adorable.)

Kim smiles as she pockets her phone. 

“Yeah. Just the boys wondering if you’re okay.” She turns and crouches in front of Trini, hands held out behind her. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Trini clambers onto Kim’s back with shaky limbs, tightening her hold when Kim shifts to her feet.

“All good back there, drunky?”

Trini whines and nuzzles into her shoulder to hide.

“Fuck off,” She groans weakly as she wraps herself tighter around Kim. It sets off a flutter in Kim’s chest that persists all the way back to her house, skipping a little when they pull themselves through Kim’s bedroom window and Trini sits on Kim’s bed.

“I brought us back here because I thought you might want to stay away for a bit,” Kim says hesitantly, kneeling down to pull Trini’s shoes off for her. “Is that okay?”

Trini nods, pulling her beanie off. (Kim feels her stomach do flips again at Trini’s mussed and adorable hat hair.) “Can I borrow pjs?”

Kim pulls out the oversized shirt and sweats that Trini loves to steal (and that she’s taken to keeping clean for visits) and piles them gently on Trini’s lap.

“I’m just gonna change in the bathroom. Holler if you need me,” she says, pulling out her own set.

“What about your parents?”

“Out again,” Kim shrugs, giving Trini a smile before disappearing down the hall.

She knocks when she gets back, not wanting to walk in on Trini in any state of undress, but there’s no answer and when she cautiously opens the door, the girl is passed out over the covers. Kim smiles fondly before walking over quietly and shuffling the both of them under the duvet without jostling Trini too much— she settles down with Trini’s back to her front and both her arms wrapped protectively around the girl.

Trini clasps a hand over the one Kim has on her waist, pulling it close and threading their fingers together.

“Did I wake you?” Kim asks. “I’m sorry.”

Trini shakes her head sleepily. “‘m fine,” she mumbles, snuggling closer. “Stay?”

Part of her wants to laugh softly and make some quip about this being  _ her _ bedroom, but it’s overwhelmed by the affection that takes over her lungs. She holds Trini a little closer and kisses the top of her head, sighing.

“Always.” 

_ Always and forever _ .

 

**Author's Note:**

> obligatory self-promotion: hey, if you liked that, check me out on my blog! you can get early access to more trimberly content as well as my upcoming trimberly/supercorp crossover series. 
> 
> http://wtfoctagon.tumblr.com/post/161395827596/wtfoctagons-extra-content-masterpost


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